Post by Ritalin on Aug 12, 2011 17:05:03 GMT
The scene opens with a pale stage lit up with red, blue, and green neon lights. The stage is set up with one black leather sofa chair and several other regular black metal folding chairs. Above the stage is a banner with glowing purple letters that spell “Ritalin”. Yes you thought right, Ritalin set up his own talk show! In the sofa chair comfortably sits Ritalin wearing a lime green suit buttoned up with thin framed eye glasses with no lenses since he doesn’t need glasses to see, he is just trying to look more the part. Sitting in the chair closest to Ritalin is a man. A plain looking man, with a blank expression on his face. He is dressed casually and even though your not sure who he is he looks familiar. Up in the stands is a full house. The audience is packed and they are all cheering and chanting Ritalin’s name. There are several cameras set up with camera men behind them, one which happens to be Prozac. Ritalin has a huge goofy smile on his face waves to the crowd and they get silent.
Ritalin
Hello everybody and welcome to The Ritalin show. I’m your host…Ritalin. Today we’re going to talk about someone who over the years has accomplished so much and has the reputation to prove it. That man is “The” Ross walker.
The crowd boos and hisses.
Ritalin
Unfortunately ol` Rosy boy isn’t here today…he may have been here if I invited him…but…I think he’s kind of a dick so I figure I’ll just shit on him and let him watch this later. But I do have a guest next to me who I’ll introduce in a moment but first I’d like to clear something up about my absence from the FWF. I recall a promo that Ross put out around his second match against my brother Prozac where he said and I quote “The Meds need allies now especially since Ritalins in prison.”
Ritalin looks at the ground and lets out a long drawn out sigh. He stands from his chair and faces the audience.
Ritalin
I was never in prison. I spent seven months in county jail and spent a total of nineteen and a half months in rehab and an additional ten months in a halfway house. I was heavily addicted to drugs and needed help so that’s where I was during my absence. No where in that time period did I ever come close to going to prison and I’m not ashamed of it and if you have something to say about it well I really don’t care…Now on with the show!
Ritalin sits back down as the crowd cheers and claps
Ritalin
That promo I mentioned Ross attacked a defenseless man and that man is my guest today give a round of applause for Bob!
The crowd cheers and applauds the man as he waves at the crowd. Ritalin reaches over and shakes the mans hand.
Ritalin
Bob thanks for being with us today I appreciate it.
Bob
Thanks for having me here.
Ritalin
Lets not waste anytime and get right to it…tell me about that attack by Ross Walker.
Ritalin leans forward in his chair getting his face obnoxiously close to Bob’s.
Bob
There isn’t much to say about it, I mean obviously he was out of his mind after his first ass kicking from your friend Prozac and he didn’t know how to deal with it and I believe he knew deep down inside lightning was gunna strike the same place twice so before his epic failure again at the hands of Prozac he wanted to seem tough or something so he struck me in the face. And went on to lose against Prozac a second time like we all knew would happen.
Ritalin stares empathetically at the man shaking his head slowly.
Ritalin
What a shame…attacking a poor man like that it’s not right and he got what he deserved against Prozac. Now let me ask what are your feelings towards Ross?
Bob
Well I don’t like him if that’s what your asking.
Ritalin
No, I mean what do you think about Ross the man himself?
Bob
Well I think he thinks he’s better then he is…he’s over rated and egotistical and the whole emo crap he’s trying to pull off is the kind of crap thirteen year olds try to pull when they feel there parents aren’t showing them enough attention.
Ritalin
Let me stop you real quick there…
Ritalin’s ears and eyes perk up.
Ritalin
So you think that Ross wasn’t loved as a child? That’s interesting…I think maybe if he got a hug once and awhile he would lighten up maybe…hmm…maybe I’ll give him a hug after our jealousy tournament match. Now I’m gunna comment on what you said about him being over rated…there’s no questioning his accomplishments, the man is good. But I believe Ross is…and let me choose my words wisely here…outdated. I just don’t think he’s got it anymore and should probably start not only looking towards retirement but perhaps an old folks home I mean sheesh it feels like he’s been around since the dawn of time. His glory years are up I mean he was at the top of his game during that whole WWO thing and I’ll tell you what…that was a joke. Its obvious that no one can even compare to me and Prozac as far as teams go.
Prozac
HELL YEAH!
Prozac screams from behind the camera.
Ritalin
They might as well just advance me and save Ross the embarrassment even though that’s what he is nowadays…a walking talking embarrassment. They would probably give me more of a challenge throwing Thor in there with me again…and I’ve beaten him how many times. Better yet throw a thirteen year old girl in there with me and it’ll be the same as Ross. This Jealousy tournament is my comeback and Ross is a dare I say it…yes I shall…a stepping stone on my way to the top. And good thing it’s a hardcore match because now I will do whatever it takes to win, and the goes for any match in this entire tournament. I mean what’s a better way to make my comeback then to win the entire Jealousy tournament? There is no better way. I’m proven myself time and time again as a singles competitor and a tag team competitor and I went undefeated for how long? I don’t even know. And I know I must sound weird I mean everyone is so used to the goofy everything’s a joke Ritalin, but I honestly have matured…BUT…I still like to tear shit up. And I will tear shit with Ross, Fizz, Benny Starr, hell even my brother Prozac because I’m back baby, the Golden Ticket is mine and you are all going to…take…your
Voice
What the hell?!?!
A voice erupts from off the screen and set.
Voice
What the hell are you doing on my stage?!?!
A man storms out from back stage with his arms spread to his side in a vexed manner. Everyone seems stunned and a silence falls in the room as all eyes lock on Ritalin who looks like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Prozac
Bert?
Ritalin
Now that I think of it…I didn’t actually ask for permission to use this stage.
Ritalin smiles innocently as Prozac rolls is eyes. It’s at this time security follows up the rear of the man who you figure is the rightful host of whatever show Ritalin took over.
Prozac
EVERYONE SCATTER!!!
Prozac bursts out as he grips the camera tightly and runs to back exit past the crowd of stunned people. Bob jumps up from his seat and bolts out the exit in the back of the stage. With some security following them it means Ritalin can’t use those exits so with a quick shrug Ritalin turns on a heel and charges a window, without thinking he jumps through it and broken glass flies by his side as he drops ten feet. Lucky for him they were only on the second floor. He tucks and rolls and without stopping to check his minor cuts he dashes off waving his hands in the air and screaming. Scene fades to black with Ritalin vanishing in the distance.
Ritalin
Hello everybody and welcome to The Ritalin show. I’m your host…Ritalin. Today we’re going to talk about someone who over the years has accomplished so much and has the reputation to prove it. That man is “The” Ross walker.
The crowd boos and hisses.
Ritalin
Unfortunately ol` Rosy boy isn’t here today…he may have been here if I invited him…but…I think he’s kind of a dick so I figure I’ll just shit on him and let him watch this later. But I do have a guest next to me who I’ll introduce in a moment but first I’d like to clear something up about my absence from the FWF. I recall a promo that Ross put out around his second match against my brother Prozac where he said and I quote “The Meds need allies now especially since Ritalins in prison.”
Ritalin looks at the ground and lets out a long drawn out sigh. He stands from his chair and faces the audience.
Ritalin
I was never in prison. I spent seven months in county jail and spent a total of nineteen and a half months in rehab and an additional ten months in a halfway house. I was heavily addicted to drugs and needed help so that’s where I was during my absence. No where in that time period did I ever come close to going to prison and I’m not ashamed of it and if you have something to say about it well I really don’t care…Now on with the show!
Ritalin sits back down as the crowd cheers and claps
Ritalin
That promo I mentioned Ross attacked a defenseless man and that man is my guest today give a round of applause for Bob!
The crowd cheers and applauds the man as he waves at the crowd. Ritalin reaches over and shakes the mans hand.
Ritalin
Bob thanks for being with us today I appreciate it.
Bob
Thanks for having me here.
Ritalin
Lets not waste anytime and get right to it…tell me about that attack by Ross Walker.
Ritalin leans forward in his chair getting his face obnoxiously close to Bob’s.
Bob
There isn’t much to say about it, I mean obviously he was out of his mind after his first ass kicking from your friend Prozac and he didn’t know how to deal with it and I believe he knew deep down inside lightning was gunna strike the same place twice so before his epic failure again at the hands of Prozac he wanted to seem tough or something so he struck me in the face. And went on to lose against Prozac a second time like we all knew would happen.
Ritalin stares empathetically at the man shaking his head slowly.
Ritalin
What a shame…attacking a poor man like that it’s not right and he got what he deserved against Prozac. Now let me ask what are your feelings towards Ross?
Bob
Well I don’t like him if that’s what your asking.
Ritalin
No, I mean what do you think about Ross the man himself?
Bob
Well I think he thinks he’s better then he is…he’s over rated and egotistical and the whole emo crap he’s trying to pull off is the kind of crap thirteen year olds try to pull when they feel there parents aren’t showing them enough attention.
Ritalin
Let me stop you real quick there…
Ritalin’s ears and eyes perk up.
Ritalin
So you think that Ross wasn’t loved as a child? That’s interesting…I think maybe if he got a hug once and awhile he would lighten up maybe…hmm…maybe I’ll give him a hug after our jealousy tournament match. Now I’m gunna comment on what you said about him being over rated…there’s no questioning his accomplishments, the man is good. But I believe Ross is…and let me choose my words wisely here…outdated. I just don’t think he’s got it anymore and should probably start not only looking towards retirement but perhaps an old folks home I mean sheesh it feels like he’s been around since the dawn of time. His glory years are up I mean he was at the top of his game during that whole WWO thing and I’ll tell you what…that was a joke. Its obvious that no one can even compare to me and Prozac as far as teams go.
Prozac
HELL YEAH!
Prozac screams from behind the camera.
Ritalin
They might as well just advance me and save Ross the embarrassment even though that’s what he is nowadays…a walking talking embarrassment. They would probably give me more of a challenge throwing Thor in there with me again…and I’ve beaten him how many times. Better yet throw a thirteen year old girl in there with me and it’ll be the same as Ross. This Jealousy tournament is my comeback and Ross is a dare I say it…yes I shall…a stepping stone on my way to the top. And good thing it’s a hardcore match because now I will do whatever it takes to win, and the goes for any match in this entire tournament. I mean what’s a better way to make my comeback then to win the entire Jealousy tournament? There is no better way. I’m proven myself time and time again as a singles competitor and a tag team competitor and I went undefeated for how long? I don’t even know. And I know I must sound weird I mean everyone is so used to the goofy everything’s a joke Ritalin, but I honestly have matured…BUT…I still like to tear shit up. And I will tear shit with Ross, Fizz, Benny Starr, hell even my brother Prozac because I’m back baby, the Golden Ticket is mine and you are all going to…take…your
Voice
What the hell?!?!
A voice erupts from off the screen and set.
Voice
What the hell are you doing on my stage?!?!
A man storms out from back stage with his arms spread to his side in a vexed manner. Everyone seems stunned and a silence falls in the room as all eyes lock on Ritalin who looks like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Prozac
Bert?
Ritalin
Now that I think of it…I didn’t actually ask for permission to use this stage.
Ritalin smiles innocently as Prozac rolls is eyes. It’s at this time security follows up the rear of the man who you figure is the rightful host of whatever show Ritalin took over.
Prozac
EVERYONE SCATTER!!!
Prozac bursts out as he grips the camera tightly and runs to back exit past the crowd of stunned people. Bob jumps up from his seat and bolts out the exit in the back of the stage. With some security following them it means Ritalin can’t use those exits so with a quick shrug Ritalin turns on a heel and charges a window, without thinking he jumps through it and broken glass flies by his side as he drops ten feet. Lucky for him they were only on the second floor. He tucks and rolls and without stopping to check his minor cuts he dashes off waving his hands in the air and screaming. Scene fades to black with Ritalin vanishing in the distance.
